I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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