I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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