He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
