Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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