arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
tell me about the eggs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
