I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this boner is exhausting
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
