Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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