My underwear smells like fireworks.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
