I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We are two peas in an std pod
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
