i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
