O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
