omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
