I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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