i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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