is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
