Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
