I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
