I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
