Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
