Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
