I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
