whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
