I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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