I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
