is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
