Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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