I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize