Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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