You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
