I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
