Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Randomize
