I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
