Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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