We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
