Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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