I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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