Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want nice things and good sex
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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