The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
