Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
