How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
