some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
