I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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