In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
