i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need a beard to bite.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
