I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
