Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
