I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
