YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
