Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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