he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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