i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
