i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize