I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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