it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
