Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
