talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
