Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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