I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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