This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
