My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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