I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
