guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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