My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
did i just pee glitter
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize