I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
