If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize