she was so not down for the gang bang
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
