But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
