she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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