I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
